The true commitment

As I was out this morning excercising, I met the sweetest old couple. They looked to be in their eighties, and were walking around the park together. He had a walker, and she was a lot quicker. Yet you could tell that after what was i'm sure years of marriage, they were still best friends. We made pleasent conversation, and each time I passed them, I began to wonder about their story. Marriage has been on my mind a lot lately. It's not that i've been caught up dreaming about my own marriage...it's more been that I keep seeing stories of the commitment of marriage, and what a beautiful thing it is. I was wondering about this elderly couple's story, and thinking ' I am fairly certain that they have endured things that would break a lot of marriages up these days.' And that truly saddened me. Now, I don't know if that thought had any truth to it, however, I do know that any person who has lived has had to endure hardship of some form or another. The difference, is that people not that long ago were a whole lot more willing to be selfless and endure something, than be selfish while enduring something. I am also in the middle of reading "The Vow," By Kim and Krikket Carpenter. Their story inspired the film that just came out, however, the true story is quite different. I don't want to spoil the book, and I highly reccomend it to anyone, but there was one constant thing that stuck out to me through the whole thing. The circumstances that this couple had to endure were unimaginable. After just 10 weeks of marriage, everything they knew was ripped apart. Though the process was long, painful, hurtful, and nearly unbearable, they both recognized the fact that God had brought them together, they had made a commitment for better or for worse, and no matter what happened, they were going to stick by those vows. I pray that I never know anyone who has to go through something like that, yet I wish more people would pay attention. The reasons people get divorced these days are utterly ridiculous compared to something like that! If those two people could honor their commitment after something so horrible, then why can't people seem to work out minor issues these days? I, like any other woman have longed for marriage and a husband. And i'm not certain, but I think I have a different outlook on it than most people in my generation. What a beautiful gift, to let someone in so close to you that you build your life with them. What a beautiful thing to have someone by your side to help you through the hard times. What a beautiful thing to get to give of yourself more than you thought you could, even when it's utterly painful. Believe me, I can be just as selfish as anyone else, but every single time I choose to give rather than recieve, I end up feeling better. Odd how that works out. Marriage is most definetly a give and take, but if i'm not giving 100% someday,I don't think my marriage will be as successful as it could be. People say marriage is 50/50, but I want to give all of me, not just 50% of me. I think people in my generation are also disillusioned into thinking that just because their single right now, means that what they do doesn't effect their future marriage. I don't know when i'll get married, but I do know that I am called to honor my husband even now. I am called to save myself for him physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I am called to pray for him. I would hope that if my husband saw me interacting with another man today, he would know that my heart was and always will be his. I've always said, and truly believed that no matter what may come to be in my married life, I will fight with absolutely everything in me to get through and cherish my marriage.People say it's impossible these days to see long, happy, lasting marriages. And it may be presumptious to say so, but I will have one of those. That's what God intented. No, he doesn't promise a fairytale, but then, I wouldn't want that either. I'm sure that part of why that old couple remained best friends, was becuase with each hardship they encountered they relyed on eachother, and grew deeper together. How awesome is that? Life is going to be extremely difficult no matter what, why not share those burdens with someone else? Why not have the joy of a life long best friend, who you can look back on the years with, and know that your commitment, was the best decesion you ever made? Whether you're married, single, engaged, dating, I hope that when you think about your marriage, you don't get caught up in the fantasy. I hope that you remeber that each step you take with that person is a gift, and how blessed you are to have it. And I pray that one day, you can be an old person, out with your spouse, and a young person will see you, and wonder how your love is so beautiful.

The Challenge

I was sitting yesterday, with the sweet little two year old I nanny. We were having a good day. Normal. Nothing about it was extraorinary. All of a sudden the door bell to her house rings. I reluctantly get up to see who it is. I opened the door to two elderly women who I vaguely recognize. The woman closest to me states, "Hello Kimberly! How are you? How's Lauren doing?" (Lauren is the two year old I watch.) I smile as Lauren comes toddling up to me, still in her jammies. The women at the door are Jehovah's witnesses. We have a nice little chat, and they speak to me about what they believe is truth. I speak about what I believe is truth. It was a pleasent exchange, nothing of great debate. But as conversation ended, and these two elderly ladies made their way in the cold, my heart began to break. I found myself literally sick to my stomach. I began praying, and crying out to the Lord. I have never been a person who is good at condemning other people to hell. I don't think that's my job. But it broke my heart that these two, sweet women, were lost for truth. Religions like this always tear me apart. This is because they're almost there. They've almost got it. They believe in Jesus...only that he's God's son, not God almighty or part of the trinity. They believe in Heaven...only the vast majority of them when dead will be waiting until God decideds to put them in a seperate heaven, not heaven, heaven. There are so many other things they believe that are almost truth, yet somehow, got mixed up. On the other hand, they believe that God called human beings to love one another, and that a life without love is meaningless. That was our whole discussion yesterday, 1 corinthians 13. Love. And I will tell you right now, these women are full of love. Not only that, they are so devoted to what they believe, they were willing to set out in the cold to make sure people heard what they believe with everything in them, is truth. Yes, my heart was aching. Yes, it surely broke. I nearly cried from the pain I was feeling. All I know is that i'm certainly glad i'm not the ultimate judge. It pains me to say and truly believe...I think they're wrong. And i'm sure it pains them to think that i'm wrong. But while I was crying out for the Lord, asking what I should be interceeding for, I was hit by a brick wall with a challenge. They very well may be wrong in what they believe, but it seems like they are far more devoted to sharing what they believe than I am. I sometimes shrivel up like a flower if I feel my faith won't be welcomed somewhere. I hadn't a slightest rememberance of the womens names who came to the door, yet they not only remembered my name, but the child's name, and that I was the nanny. I wonder, how many houses/ people do they meet and remember? You can tell their Bibles are precious to them. And while I think they interpurate somethings incorrectly, they really study the word. I read my Bible, meditate, but far too often I don't treasure the word of God as I should. I'm not saying that I need to go door to door to profess what I believe. I'm not even saying that I need to announce it wherever I go. But I certainly think that I need to make sure people know something is different about me. I need to not give way to fear because I have the living, victorious, creator of all things living WITHIN ME. Fear shouldn't even be part of my vocabulary unless it's referring to me being in fear of my creator. So in conclusion, I just want to say that maybe I am the only believer who feels this way sometimes. Maybe everyone else reading this is doing far better in this area. But please take these words as encouragment. And whether you disagree with someone or not, remember to love them. That's exactly what Jesus did. That's exactly what he called us to do. And hopefully, by loving the world, they will see truth.