The best kind of change

Holy cow, these past weeks have been incredible. I just love how God is always full of surprises. He never works the same, yet he's always good. It's fantastic! So let me just start by saying that he has been working in me in a way that I never knew I needed. Most of you who know me, or follow this blog/my videos/ etc. know that my heart has always been for ministry. It's what I love, and always have, but more specifically, I feel drawn to teenage girls. I've always volunteered with them, and have always loved building relationships with them. But God has opened crazy/awesome opportunities for me to invest more into the lives of young girls than ever before over the past few weeks and I LOVE IT!!! It all started with an event my church puts on called Israel Awareness Day. It's a program we do once a year to honor God's chosen people, and it's absolutely brilliant. Anyway, I noticed that all but one of the girls directly involved in the program with me, were younger. Now, I've known most of these girls for several years, but it's like scales fell from my eyes and I realized something SO cool. As I was spending a lot of time with these awesome young ladies, The Lord began to show me that yes, they are younger than me, and will always be...however, they will be my peers sooner than later. What I mean by this, is I realized that in the game of life, they are not that far removed from me at all. And I don't know...It gave me a sort of freedom in a way. I began to realize that it wasn't just an option, but a responsibility for me to be FRIENDS with these young women, not just a leader. Obviously there is the line of authority, as there should be, but why would it have to be a HUGE one? Because the way I look at it, the young women in my life will be entering the real world in the next 2-5 years, and anyone who's made it to 18 years old knows that that amount of time is really nothing. And I'd rather the transition of " leader to friends," not be so awkward/ hard. And i'll tell you something amazing, my relationships with these young women have already grown IMMENSLY in the past few weeks. It's crazy awesome. Especially because i'm letting myself learn from these girls as well. It's odd getting into the mind of a teen girl, especially a high school teen girl. They are figuring out who they are, what they stand for, and what they want to be in life. They are so full of promise and potential...nothing can bring them down. Their determination astounds me. I must admit that I've been dumbfounded more than once by something one of them has said, in the best possible way. Their faith is untainted, and sure. It's not that they haven't experienced the hardships of life, ( because let me tell you, some most CERTAINLY have) but somehow, believing things will get better is almost second nature. The past few weeks I've honestly looked in awe at these beautiful young women and felt a sort of sadness because I remember when only a few years ago, I WAS HER. Nothing could or would shake me, I was so sure in who I was in Christ. But oddly enough, the years in the real world have weighed heavily on me, and while my faith is still secure, I find that I inevitably let doubt in. And a lot of times, I let doubt win. When the game of "But God is bigger than any bizarre circumstance, " is played, I generally dismiss that card. Because the older we get, the more "mature" thing to do, is the be practical. Well, i'm calling bull crap on that for sure!!!

This past Sunday, we had the Middle School and High School service combined. I had gone to the adult service prior, and a good friend of mine's dad spoke. He's written an incredible book for the Men of God to stand up and be the Man God created them to be. His service really challenged me, and got me excited. I then walked into our combined youth service and began chatting with students. I LOVE pre- service for that very reason. It allows time to see into who these young people are. I was laughing and joking with Middle and High school alike, and I knew that it was going to be a great service. However, I was unaware as to just how great it would be. We were talking about the Holy Spirit, and let me tell you, HE SHOWED UP THAT DAY. It was crazy. At the end of service, the students had an opportunity to come to us leaders for prayer or to talk. And i'm telling you right now, the things these kids wanted prayer for were INCREDIBLE. Things that most adults don't even pray for. And it hit me, THIS generation, MY generation is SO hungry for truth, for righteousness. We are BEGGING to be given more, to grow, to love because we KNOW that we can change this world. When I wasn't praying with a student, I looked around and saw an army ready for battle. They don't need years to become "mature." They are some of the most spiritually mature people I know, and they're ready RIGHT. NOW. And I realized in that moment, at that point in time, that when it came to my spiritual walk, I needed to get right back to where they are. Since I graduated High School, I've been trying to find the "mature" walk of faith. To be an "adult," in my faith. Now, I'm not saying that I want to lack responsibilities when it comes to work, decisions, etc. That is all GOOD maturity to have. I'm saying that when I over analyze my faith, who Jesus is, and what he's capable of, I lose the very essence of Him. He didn't call us to have faith like a child for no reason! And the craziest thing is, the more i'm opening myself up to these incredible truths, these incredible students, the more i'm remembering what God has created me for. If you aren't directly involved in the life of a teenager, I highly encourage you to do so... They will change your world!:)

Love

My mind has been consumed with love lately...but maybe not for the reason you might think. I'm not in love at this point in time, and to be honest, I don't know when that time will come for me. But regardless of all that, my life isn't just about me, and so because of that, I am constantly surrounded by love. And it's wonderful.

Yesterday, my beautiful sister got engaged. I can't even begin to explain how I feel about this, but overjoyed is a good place to start. My sister is 31 years old. In the Christian society, that is "older" for a person to marry. But let me tell you something that astounds me about all of this. My sister was engaged at 19 years old, and I know that she is more happy today that she gets to marry her fiancé Joseph than she ever would've been marrying her ex. She has had a hard life when it comes to relationships. I have watched her heart break, and my heart has broken with her. I've heard her cries of " why not me?" when friends have gotten married and started families. And I know that for whatever reason, she's walked the road she has because The Lord God Almighty ordained it to be this way. And what a great story she has. Through the trials, the pain, the heartache, she finally gets to marry her best friend.

But there's a flip side to that. My best friend got married at 19, her husband 20. They have a beautiful baby girl and their life is incredible. I find it so cool when couples get to grow up together. When they get to learn more from each other because they're less established in who they are. How cool to say you were high school sweet hearts?

Or I look at my brother and his wife. Not only is she older than him, but they had what most people would call an unconventional wedding...they got married at a court house! But you know what? That story fits them like a glove. And now they have the most beautiful daughters I've ever seen.

I look at my parents, my dad and mom both immediately knew they'd met the one. But that didn't stop my mom from being scared to death and breaking up with my dad 5 times in the 2 years they dated before she finally agreed to forever with him. It shows me that true love doesn't ever give up.

Or my great aunt and uncle. He is 8 years younger than her and lied to her about his age until they were engaged because he knew she was the love his life. Even though she probably should've broken up with him ( kidding of course ;) ) love knew no bounds. Even when an older woman marrying a younger man was taboo far more than it is today.

I look around, I see all these different loves, and it makes my heart happy. Because I've realized something that I don't think I ever had before... Since the day I turned 18, I've been worrying about who my special someone is. Do I know them? Where will I meet them? Will they be older? Younger? Tall? Short? What's his personality going to be like? Will his family love me? And so many other questions. But I've realized that God is faithful, and because of that, I know he's out there somewhere. I know i'm not the only one who gets caught up in trying to figure everything out. Trying to make things happen. But I do know this, I have been blessed to witness and be a part of so many beautiful love stories, that I can't ever complain. I've been blessed because of other people's love for one another. I can't force doors to open or shut, and I can't magically know who that person is. All I can do is trust in my Savior, and know that regardless of the circumstance, if I'm serving Christ and following his will for my life, I'll get a unique story of my own someday.

So I guess I wanted to encourage all of my fellow singles out there. Whether you're 16 and have already found the love of your life. 35 and unwed. 10 years apart either way. Or wondering if you're ever going to meet the person of your dreams, remember that since the beginning of time God thought you out, he thought your soul mate out. And in his perfect timing, the story will come together beautifully.