Today. Today has been hard and great all at the same time. I suppose that's how life has been a lot lately. Every day is filled with resounding joy, but also deep pain. But I wouldn't change it. This last month has really been the most challenging and rewarding one I think, of my entire life. Learning to put my sole trust in Christ while everything seems to fall apart, and everyone wants me to be something. Whether good or bad. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm right where God wants me, for His divine purpose. Today. Today was the first time I saw little man as the sick little boy he is, not the boy that I knew had cancer, but could only have known by his sparse head. He had his all day chemotherapy treatment yesterday, and today was hard. His agonizing cries, and the tears falling as he leaned his head over his yellow bucket to puke. his little head on my shoulder, and his little sister just trying to be a little girl. Yet all the while, knowing something is wrong with her big brother. All the while I'm trying to hold back tears. The vomit doesn't bother me, the solidarity of the day doesn't either. But I can't stop thinking of the family, of little man. Today. Today when little man's dad came in the afternoon to take him to the hospital for a shot, and getting a call from the parents saying they won't be home on time because little man spiked a fever,and me reassuring them that I will stay all night if need be.
But I can't stop thinking of the family. Of little man. It's not fair. Plain and simply. It isn't. Cancer is EVIL. Yet through all of it I STILL know that God is sovereign. This job is way harder than I anticipated it being. But... not in the way you would expect..
Today. Today out of the blue, I had a job offer to be on the radio again. They wanted me for sports radio or entertainment news. My choice. This is unheard of. Especially in Denver, and especially for a girl who's only experience was school, and an internship at KYGO. But I instantly turned them down. I told them I was caring for a very sick little boy and there was no way I would abandon him. I thanked him for the offer and told him I would let him no if anything changed, but I couldn't accept the offer. He was shocked. I think the majority of people would think I was crazy for doing such a thing. Radio is certainly a more established "career" than caring for kids. And I'm telling you right now that it is a far easier job than caring for kids is. Even when all of them are perfectly healthy. But the truth is, I don't want to just have a life and a career. I want my life to make a DIFFERENCE. No, the world doesn't see being a nanny as a big accomplishment... but I certainly do. What is more of an honor or ministry than getting to play an influential part in the life of a child? Honestly, it's hard to think of one. My being a voice on the radio, talking about Peyton Manning or Emma Watson would be a blast. I don't doubt that for a moment. But there's no depth to it. No life. I believe that any place you work is a place where you're presented with an opportunity to share Christ's love. In fact, it's more than just an opportunity, it's an obligation. But as the wisest man in the world, King Solomon said in Ecclesiastics, all of that is meaningless. I may never get to be an advocate for anything deemed great or important in this world. My voice may only reach a few. But as much as I fantasize about it, a life of fame is not what I'm seeking. What I'm seeking is a life full of Jesus. A life full of love. One so overflowing, that the love Christ has placed in me would refresh and renew the brokenness of those around me. THAT is the kind of life I long for. The legacy I want to leave behind. And as I spent today caring for two amazing kids, one fighting a devastating battle; I know beyond anything else that I'm right where God wants me. The world can say what they want about the path I'm on right now. But there will always be opportunities to make myself a "career" if that's the path God takes me on. So try as they might, they won't deter me from the path I'm on right now. Because I have an opportunity to love in a deeper way than I ever could've imagined. So today. Today was a great day.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
The new chapter on my journey
Monday. September 29. 9 days after my 23rd birthday. I drove to work that morning, praising The Lord. It was a really good morning. I felt His deep peace. I remember thinking how incredible it was that through everything, he always held me. In fact, I had had a conversation about that very fact with a dear friend just the day before. I was talking about how God had never not provided for me. The irony of that still astounds me. I pull up to the house of the family I nannied for, and walked to the door. It had been a 3 day weekend for me, and I had missed the sweet little girls I watched. I was greated with huge hugs and giggles, and my heart soared. A few days earlier, I had had the great delight of getting to see the two families I had previously nannied for. Each of them assuring me how much they still loved me even though I wasn't a part of their every day life. That I was, and always would be their family. The mom I nannied for offered to take her eldest to school that morning, and when she got back asked if she could talk to me. With tears in her eyes, she told me that she had lost her job the previous Friday, and that because of that they wouldn't be able to keep me on. We began to talk, and I could tell her heart was broken. I felt so sad for her. But I was also very excited that she would get to spend her days with her precious girls. She kept apologizing, and I kept assuring her that it was alright. And here's the craziest thing...it WAS. I had just bought a new car, moved out of my parents home for the first time a few months before, and had no job prospects whatsoever. She let me go early that day so I could begin the job hunt. I cried a little. But not because I was really sad. It was more because I felt like I had to. But as I was driving, I began talking to Jesus. Isn't it marvelous that we can do that? And I just felt the deepest sense of peace I could. After going to visit my mom, to tell her what happened, I went back to my apartment and started looking at jobs. The very first one I saw stuck out to me like a lighthouse on the inkiest black night. It was for a family with two children. One, a perfectly healthy little girl. The other, a little boy battling cancer. Instantly I knew that I wanted that job. Anyone who knows me, knows my history with cancer. It had bitten my world when I was only 11, through my sweet cousin Jayne who was also 11. Hers was a battle I would never forget. It had stayed with me and opened doors of opportunities to pursue friendships with other kids who had to face the devastation that is cancer. I went on to apply for about 30 other jobs. I don't like feeling like i'm treading water, so I was determined to find a new job within the week. There were lots of jobs that looked promising, but my mind kept going back to the first. About an hour after I filled out that first initial application, I got a call. I let it ring and go to voicemail because I didn't recognize the number. A minute later I was checking the message. It was from a woman who worked for a nanny agency. The agency trying to find a nanny for the little boy with cancer and his sister. I immediately called back, and from the first few sentences, she and I both knew this was my job. She even told me that my voicemail had been so encouraging to her. We set up a time to do my initial interview, and I stopped filling out applications. I told the other people who got back to me that I was pursuing another opportunity. I hadn't even had my interview with the agent, let alone the family. Two days later I met with the woman, and it was the best interview I had ever had. She told me that the family was looking for someone with a deep faith, and she told me that somehow the situations where both parties are believers always seem to work out better than those who don't. I thought that was amazing. We set a time for my interview with the family and I left feeling so confident.
Three days later, I found myself driving up to the house of this new family I was about to meet. I talked to God the whole way, and took a deep breath as I rang the doorbell. I was greeted by a nice couple and a sweet little girl with pigtails and a sparkly headband. And then barreling down the hall, was a sweet bald head. From the moment I stepped through the door, I knew that God had placed me here. We began talking, and I asked what kind of cancer the little boy had. Shock and awe poured through me when I heard. He had Rhabdoyosarcoma. The same cancer my cousin Jayne had had. It was a different variety, but none the less, it is the rarest kind of pediatric cancer in the United States. I think that moment confirmed it for both of us.
The next day I had the job. The Lord provided a temporary nanny position for me while I wait for this new one to start. And the past couple of weeks have been so rough, but so good. I've had to come to terms with letting go of something I care deeply about, and embracing a new chapter with just myself and The Lord. I've had to learn that I am truly not in control. I have had to learn that no matter what, there is always someone who needs love, and it is my deepest obligation to be the giver of that love. I have learned that God really does open doors for things that our hearts desires, but many times he has to close other ones. And i've realized that this next year, my life will be devoted to loving for and caring for a spunky little two year old, and a sweet little boy with a battle. Today I met with the family to just go over some things. It was a blast. The mom and I were talking, and she handed me a huge binder. It was daunting. All the things I need to know about little man's cancer. But it didn't intimidate me. A few minutes later, little man comes and stands by me with his game, and I ask if he would like to sit with me. He says yes, and he sat there with me for a good 10 minutes. My heart was so full I could've cried. The weight of the responsibility I was taking on hit me. Not dealing with the cancer in a little boy. But the job to love he and his sister. Their parents. To walk this journey with them in such close corners. What an honor.
The whole time i've been writing this post, i've been listening to the song "It is Well" by Bethel, and I cannot get over how timely it is. For me. For this family. For all the things I can and ever will face. A hard path may seem daunting. But I welcome it with open arms, embracing what's to come because I know more now than I ever have before that I am exactly where I am meant to be. I know this post isn't a super topic, but it is very personal. I pray that it will give you hope to know that through it all, it is well.
http://youtu.be/YNqo4Un2uZI
Three days later, I found myself driving up to the house of this new family I was about to meet. I talked to God the whole way, and took a deep breath as I rang the doorbell. I was greeted by a nice couple and a sweet little girl with pigtails and a sparkly headband. And then barreling down the hall, was a sweet bald head. From the moment I stepped through the door, I knew that God had placed me here. We began talking, and I asked what kind of cancer the little boy had. Shock and awe poured through me when I heard. He had Rhabdoyosarcoma. The same cancer my cousin Jayne had had. It was a different variety, but none the less, it is the rarest kind of pediatric cancer in the United States. I think that moment confirmed it for both of us.
The next day I had the job. The Lord provided a temporary nanny position for me while I wait for this new one to start. And the past couple of weeks have been so rough, but so good. I've had to come to terms with letting go of something I care deeply about, and embracing a new chapter with just myself and The Lord. I've had to learn that I am truly not in control. I have had to learn that no matter what, there is always someone who needs love, and it is my deepest obligation to be the giver of that love. I have learned that God really does open doors for things that our hearts desires, but many times he has to close other ones. And i've realized that this next year, my life will be devoted to loving for and caring for a spunky little two year old, and a sweet little boy with a battle. Today I met with the family to just go over some things. It was a blast. The mom and I were talking, and she handed me a huge binder. It was daunting. All the things I need to know about little man's cancer. But it didn't intimidate me. A few minutes later, little man comes and stands by me with his game, and I ask if he would like to sit with me. He says yes, and he sat there with me for a good 10 minutes. My heart was so full I could've cried. The weight of the responsibility I was taking on hit me. Not dealing with the cancer in a little boy. But the job to love he and his sister. Their parents. To walk this journey with them in such close corners. What an honor.
The whole time i've been writing this post, i've been listening to the song "It is Well" by Bethel, and I cannot get over how timely it is. For me. For this family. For all the things I can and ever will face. A hard path may seem daunting. But I welcome it with open arms, embracing what's to come because I know more now than I ever have before that I am exactly where I am meant to be. I know this post isn't a super topic, but it is very personal. I pray that it will give you hope to know that through it all, it is well.
Verse 1
Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard
Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard
Chorus
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me
My eyes are on You
It is well with me
Verse 2
Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can't see
Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can't see
And this mountain that's in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea
Chorus
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
Bridge x3
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name(repeat last line during 3rd run)
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name(repeat last line during 3rd run)
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You Lord
Through it all, through it all
It is well with me.
My eyes are on You Lord
Through it all, through it all
It is well with me.
http://youtu.be/YNqo4Un2uZI
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Not of this world
Technology is both a blessing and a curse. It can be so useful in situations, and at other times the biggest time waster out there. I try to limit my time using it to just purely find fast and dumb entertainment, but every once in a while I find a use for google that is far beyond worth while.
I recently joined a women's bible study at my church. Tonight was our second meeting, and we are studying Beth Moore's "Children of the Day," which is focused on 1st and 2nd Thessalonians. Let me tell you, this study is already amazing. Not only is the study amazing, but the women I have met so far are truly beyond incredible. At 23 ( in 4 days:D ) and 25, my friend Haley and I are the youngest there. We're not even in the same group! But gleaning wisdom from this study and these women is unbelievable.The reason that I brought up this bible study is because in tonight's video teaching, Beth said something that hit me quite hard. " In a world of pretense and platforms, we better be ready to prove ourselves. 'You know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake.' (1 Thessalonians 1:5) " The basic context of this statement is that as believers we so often think that if the people around us who are not yet believers choose not to see the goodness of God, then it isn't our responsibility, we don't have to prove that he is. But what Beth is saying is that it IS. We have been called to PROVE it.
Okay Kimberly, focus. Back to google. This past weeks studies of 1 Thessalonians chapter 1 has made me realize that I am so not of this world. I was not made for it. I was placed here for a specific purpose by the Lord God, Creator of all, but this is not where my hope lies. So with that thought in my head, I chose to simply type "I am made for so much more, because I am not of this world." I'm not even quite sure what I expected to find, but I will tell you right now, what I did broke my heart. I stumbled on a blogpost on the website "ExperienceProject." There was a person who wrote how they never felt they were made for this world, they didn't want any part of the cruelty and destruction and somehow there was this deeper, inner desire, LONGING to be a part of something more. They KNEW it in their very soul. What's interesting is that the people who left comments all said the same thing. All these people searching for that something more... but they don't know what it is. Do you know what broke my heart? The fact that not one of them said that Jesus, that heaven that SALVATION was the answer. And that's put on the shoulders of every single one of us who are believers in The Lord Jesus Christ.
You know, I don't believe that our longings and desires are just put at ease once we accept Christ as our Lord. Because I believe that he fills us with longing and desire to accomplish the tasks he has set before us. Such a righteous longing is a beautiful thing. I know I have them, and I am sure you do too. There are moments when I get a sense of longing for the things of this earth... but they so quickly fade when I am once again awestruck by the truth that NOTHING is better than a life that is Christ's. I am filled with so much wonder at the mystery of our Lord. There are no words to describe the sweetness of a life that is His alone. And it is our job to share that love, give the world a taste of it. We are to prove it! John 15:9 says "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as it's own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, BUT I HAVE CHOSEN YOU OUT OF THE WORLD. That is why the world hates you." This verse can both terrify and uplift believers. We have been chosen out of the world, wonderful! But the world hating us? Uh oh. Better avoid THAT. We can just stay in our Christian bubbles and love each other because it's easy. Maybe talk about our faith once in a while with a coworker, or a friend that doesn't know Jesus, but to actually live a life that PROVES the goodness of God? Yet we are charged with it.
I don't want this world. Give me Jesus! But let me also give Jesus to the lost and the broken, the hurting and angry. THAT is the life I want. Not being of this world does not mean that we turn our back on it. It's actually quite opposite. Let's march into battle together and show the world that HE IS GOOD!
I recently joined a women's bible study at my church. Tonight was our second meeting, and we are studying Beth Moore's "Children of the Day," which is focused on 1st and 2nd Thessalonians. Let me tell you, this study is already amazing. Not only is the study amazing, but the women I have met so far are truly beyond incredible. At 23 ( in 4 days:D ) and 25, my friend Haley and I are the youngest there. We're not even in the same group! But gleaning wisdom from this study and these women is unbelievable.The reason that I brought up this bible study is because in tonight's video teaching, Beth said something that hit me quite hard. " In a world of pretense and platforms, we better be ready to prove ourselves. 'You know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake.' (1 Thessalonians 1:5) " The basic context of this statement is that as believers we so often think that if the people around us who are not yet believers choose not to see the goodness of God, then it isn't our responsibility, we don't have to prove that he is. But what Beth is saying is that it IS. We have been called to PROVE it.
Okay Kimberly, focus. Back to google. This past weeks studies of 1 Thessalonians chapter 1 has made me realize that I am so not of this world. I was not made for it. I was placed here for a specific purpose by the Lord God, Creator of all, but this is not where my hope lies. So with that thought in my head, I chose to simply type "I am made for so much more, because I am not of this world." I'm not even quite sure what I expected to find, but I will tell you right now, what I did broke my heart. I stumbled on a blogpost on the website "ExperienceProject." There was a person who wrote how they never felt they were made for this world, they didn't want any part of the cruelty and destruction and somehow there was this deeper, inner desire, LONGING to be a part of something more. They KNEW it in their very soul. What's interesting is that the people who left comments all said the same thing. All these people searching for that something more... but they don't know what it is. Do you know what broke my heart? The fact that not one of them said that Jesus, that heaven that SALVATION was the answer. And that's put on the shoulders of every single one of us who are believers in The Lord Jesus Christ.
You know, I don't believe that our longings and desires are just put at ease once we accept Christ as our Lord. Because I believe that he fills us with longing and desire to accomplish the tasks he has set before us. Such a righteous longing is a beautiful thing. I know I have them, and I am sure you do too. There are moments when I get a sense of longing for the things of this earth... but they so quickly fade when I am once again awestruck by the truth that NOTHING is better than a life that is Christ's. I am filled with so much wonder at the mystery of our Lord. There are no words to describe the sweetness of a life that is His alone. And it is our job to share that love, give the world a taste of it. We are to prove it! John 15:9 says "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as it's own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, BUT I HAVE CHOSEN YOU OUT OF THE WORLD. That is why the world hates you." This verse can both terrify and uplift believers. We have been chosen out of the world, wonderful! But the world hating us? Uh oh. Better avoid THAT. We can just stay in our Christian bubbles and love each other because it's easy. Maybe talk about our faith once in a while with a coworker, or a friend that doesn't know Jesus, but to actually live a life that PROVES the goodness of God? Yet we are charged with it.
I don't want this world. Give me Jesus! But let me also give Jesus to the lost and the broken, the hurting and angry. THAT is the life I want. Not being of this world does not mean that we turn our back on it. It's actually quite opposite. Let's march into battle together and show the world that HE IS GOOD!
Saturday, August 9, 2014
God's NOT dead
Wow. I just finished watching the movie "God's not dead" with my family. I had heard that it was a good movie, and as a believer in Jesus Christ, naturally I wanted to see it. Sometimes Christian films make me nervous. They have enough cheese to satisfy anyone's appetite, and quite frankly they miss the mark I think they're trying to hit. Don't get me wrong, I love those films. But I also already have a deep, personal relationship with Christ, so I am likely to be far less judgmental of those films than your everyday person. "God's not dead," however, portrayed real life in a tangible way. It wasn't all sunshine and roses. Jesus didn't just swoop in and save the day. Relationships were lost, work was done, and faith was tested. This isn't going to be a movie review, but I felt I had to preface it with this. I encourage you, whoever you are to see this movie. I don't care if Christ is already your everything, or if you deny Him with everything in you, the movie is a challenge. One I think we should all take. And that's what this blog is going to be about.
As I sat watching this film, so many things were brought to my attention. I'll spare you the details of my thoughts, because to you they are probably uninteresting. This week has been challenging for me. The Lord has really been convicting me of some things I didn't know I needed to be convicted of. Anyone who knows me knows that from the time I was a little girl, I have felt a deep and intense calling on my life. Rest assured I by no means think that my life is greater than anyone else's, but it isn't for not that I have been given a passion for truth and the ability to speak those truths in various ways. Eloquence is nothing but a gift from the Father, and while others may disagree with me, I feel that somehow he's gifted me with it for some reason. A reason bigger than I can comprehend. It excites me to no end. But one of the main challenges I have been up against this week is really very simple. All throughout middle school and high school I was convinced that the plans God had for me would be far beyond my comprehension. I could look anyone in the eye and tell them that I was going to change this world for my Savior. I believed it with everything in me. It wasn't cockiness that drove me to believe that. It wasn't for self-gratification, although that is something I have to battle with daily. Somehow I just knew it. God had spoken it to me and I didn't doubt Him. I wasn't afraid of sharing truth with anyone, really. If you would've told me the day I graduated high school I would be where I am today, I probably would've said you were crazy. Because here is the honest truth... for the past how many ever years, that passionate girl has been gone. Somehow when she became a woman, that passion started to slowly be replaced by other things. Somehow work, money, boyfriends, and sleep became her top priority. Somehow the fear of offending others because of her faith won out. Don't get me wrong, I love my Savior. I still have that passion burning deep inside of me, and in my comfort zone I am still that firecracker for Him. But i'm at a loss trying to figure out where that firecracker went when it actually mattered. I was so challenged by this movie in a few areas. One way is in how I live my life with other Christians. I am good at having healthy debates with people, but there are still times I fail at standing up for what I really know is right, living what I know is right. I hate to say that there are parts of me that have bought into mundane Christianity and it downright disgusts me. Where did the girl who used to dance before the Lord in worship go? Because now she talks about how that's okay to do in your own space, but maybe it's best to not distract others. Or the girl who didn't care about marriage because she knew God would provide the right person in the right time, and now all she can do is worry herself sick with whether her relationship is it or not? It's just beyond me! Don't get me wrong, Jesus is my lifeline, I would be dead without Him. I cannot imagine a life where he wasn't my everything. So the next thing that challenges me, really baffles me. Jesus is my very breath, to deny him, to me, would be like denying the oxygen I need to keep me alive. Since that IS true, why do I deny Him? No, I don't think I have ever directly denied Him before, but I am also a person that hates gray areas. To me if I just skate by in life and not live it fully for Him, that seems like denying Him. I fully believe I wasn't put on this earth for any other reason than to bring glory to my Father, and to share the truth of His love with every single person I come into contact with because I want them to have what I have. Any of you who know God the Father know how glorious it is to be His. When I am in His will and I know it, there is truly nothing better. Living for Jesus is not an obligation, it is the best thing in the world.
I guess it really made me think about my life, the people surrounding it, the ones involved in it. It doesn't matter if they disown me, disregard me, or see me as an insane Jesus freak... my life isn't for them, my life isn't for me. It's for Jesus. Through that His truth and light will shine, and people will come to know Him as their Savior! I want to know that even if I am completely alone when it comes to other people, I have my Jesus by my side. The great thing is though, I was also reminded of the body of Christ that is all around the world. We are NOT alone. This battle has already been won. We are equipped with the blood of Jesus, and we have each other to stand next to in battle. For as bleak as things seem sometimes, the truth is that there are people all around the world fighting the same fight you are. It's not a competition, it's a victory! How great that our God is in the souls of people everywhere. How great that we as the body of Christ get to stand together and reach this world for Him. That is...if we are willing. I guess maybe I need to challenge myself, and maybe you need to challenge yourself too. Mundane, lukewarm Christianity won't do anything to change this world... only passionate, fearless, Christ-centered warriors will. I want to be that person, do you? Our God is not dead. I don't want to be selfish with that knowledge anymore. Who's with me?
As I sat watching this film, so many things were brought to my attention. I'll spare you the details of my thoughts, because to you they are probably uninteresting. This week has been challenging for me. The Lord has really been convicting me of some things I didn't know I needed to be convicted of. Anyone who knows me knows that from the time I was a little girl, I have felt a deep and intense calling on my life. Rest assured I by no means think that my life is greater than anyone else's, but it isn't for not that I have been given a passion for truth and the ability to speak those truths in various ways. Eloquence is nothing but a gift from the Father, and while others may disagree with me, I feel that somehow he's gifted me with it for some reason. A reason bigger than I can comprehend. It excites me to no end. But one of the main challenges I have been up against this week is really very simple. All throughout middle school and high school I was convinced that the plans God had for me would be far beyond my comprehension. I could look anyone in the eye and tell them that I was going to change this world for my Savior. I believed it with everything in me. It wasn't cockiness that drove me to believe that. It wasn't for self-gratification, although that is something I have to battle with daily. Somehow I just knew it. God had spoken it to me and I didn't doubt Him. I wasn't afraid of sharing truth with anyone, really. If you would've told me the day I graduated high school I would be where I am today, I probably would've said you were crazy. Because here is the honest truth... for the past how many ever years, that passionate girl has been gone. Somehow when she became a woman, that passion started to slowly be replaced by other things. Somehow work, money, boyfriends, and sleep became her top priority. Somehow the fear of offending others because of her faith won out. Don't get me wrong, I love my Savior. I still have that passion burning deep inside of me, and in my comfort zone I am still that firecracker for Him. But i'm at a loss trying to figure out where that firecracker went when it actually mattered. I was so challenged by this movie in a few areas. One way is in how I live my life with other Christians. I am good at having healthy debates with people, but there are still times I fail at standing up for what I really know is right, living what I know is right. I hate to say that there are parts of me that have bought into mundane Christianity and it downright disgusts me. Where did the girl who used to dance before the Lord in worship go? Because now she talks about how that's okay to do in your own space, but maybe it's best to not distract others. Or the girl who didn't care about marriage because she knew God would provide the right person in the right time, and now all she can do is worry herself sick with whether her relationship is it or not? It's just beyond me! Don't get me wrong, Jesus is my lifeline, I would be dead without Him. I cannot imagine a life where he wasn't my everything. So the next thing that challenges me, really baffles me. Jesus is my very breath, to deny him, to me, would be like denying the oxygen I need to keep me alive. Since that IS true, why do I deny Him? No, I don't think I have ever directly denied Him before, but I am also a person that hates gray areas. To me if I just skate by in life and not live it fully for Him, that seems like denying Him. I fully believe I wasn't put on this earth for any other reason than to bring glory to my Father, and to share the truth of His love with every single person I come into contact with because I want them to have what I have. Any of you who know God the Father know how glorious it is to be His. When I am in His will and I know it, there is truly nothing better. Living for Jesus is not an obligation, it is the best thing in the world.
I guess it really made me think about my life, the people surrounding it, the ones involved in it. It doesn't matter if they disown me, disregard me, or see me as an insane Jesus freak... my life isn't for them, my life isn't for me. It's for Jesus. Through that His truth and light will shine, and people will come to know Him as their Savior! I want to know that even if I am completely alone when it comes to other people, I have my Jesus by my side. The great thing is though, I was also reminded of the body of Christ that is all around the world. We are NOT alone. This battle has already been won. We are equipped with the blood of Jesus, and we have each other to stand next to in battle. For as bleak as things seem sometimes, the truth is that there are people all around the world fighting the same fight you are. It's not a competition, it's a victory! How great that our God is in the souls of people everywhere. How great that we as the body of Christ get to stand together and reach this world for Him. That is...if we are willing. I guess maybe I need to challenge myself, and maybe you need to challenge yourself too. Mundane, lukewarm Christianity won't do anything to change this world... only passionate, fearless, Christ-centered warriors will. I want to be that person, do you? Our God is not dead. I don't want to be selfish with that knowledge anymore. Who's with me?
Saturday, April 19, 2014
The ultimate sacrifice
Wow. As I sit down to write this, I have a lot of thoughts swirling through my head. A lot of them are good thoughts. Things I should've shared months ago, but I haven't. Time is a funny thing indeed. My last entry was in December. Christmastime. It really doesn't seem that long ago, until I realize I haven't written in a quarter of a year. That's astounding to me. I can use all of the excuses in the book about being too busy, not having things to write about, etc. But the truth is, for whatever reason I have been feeling so insecure about writing things The Lord puts on my heart. And the truth is until very recently, I wasn't sure why. But as I look back on what has occurred in the year 2014 already, I have an answer. This year has been one of the best so far, yet it's been filled with a ton of Spiritual Battles. Not just attack, but full fledged battles. I am in a stage in my life where I am having to fight for righteousness or give into worldliness. And to be honest, I'm so excited about that.
For this whole year I have been plagued with the thoughts of what it means to live righteously for Christ. There are so many types of Christians, that honestly it gets incredibly confusing. You have extremes on both ends of the spectrum. Those who live a very structured Christian life. Have you ever seen the show 19 Kids and Counting? That's the life I'm talking about. A great Christian family who lives a very strict life. People like that have always intrigued me. Probably because I'm so different from them. I think their dedication is truly amazing, but I've come to the conclusion that I could never live like that. I'm far too opinionated and loud. I also really like country music. I find myself admiring them, but then I start to feel bad about myself, and I know that's not from Christ. Then there's the other extreme form of Christianity, where everything goes. Grace is just a get out of jail free card. You can go get drunk every weekend, sleep around, curse, cheat, lie, etc. and God's grace is always there to catch you. I'll be honest, it's hard for me not to judge that lifestyle. I DO believe God's grace is there, but then I also believe that he has called us to live a life worthy of His calling. So then I start to feel superior. And then there's me. I seem to be somewhere smack dab in the middle of all of this, trying to figure out which is "The best Christian way to live." And the funny thing about time, the funny thing about life, is that we're constantly growing, changing, and learning. What I thought about Jesus and my faith 5 years ago, has changed so drastically, even though he remains the same. But I think that's the problem. We as Christians get SO caught up in trying to figure out the best way to present our Christian life to the world, that we forget to really live it. Believe me, I'm right there with you. I worry about how people will view certain things, instead of truly just living them out. Is that not silly? There's a possibility that I am the only one who is this way...but somehow I doubt it.
For the past few years, the week before Easter has been incredibly significant to me. Somehow it feels like Jesus is showing me more and more what his sacrifice actually meant. I went to my Church's Easter play last night, and it again struck me just HOW awesome my Jesus is. Sacrifice isn't just a pretty, fancy word we use to describe what Jesus did. It was an actual, real thing that we so easily forget. I'm often baffled by the fact that he not only came to earth and took on the form of man, died a horrendous painful death that he didn't deserve, battled Satan in hell so that YOU AND I can have eternal life....and we so often throw it back in his face. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about that. Thinking about the times that I've been more concerned about MY image, than his. And that's what it is, isn't it? We're concerned about how our Christian life will look because it effects US not HIM. And that's when I realized, that the example of how to live the best Christian life was found in the living, breathing, Word of God Himself. There are countless stories of men and women standing for Christ, and bringing his Kingdom to earth. And the coolest part of all of it, is that they were all SO different. It might be astounding, but I never really realized that before. We all have our favorite characters and stories in the Bible. Maybe it's because we resemble them in some way... or maybe it's because we'd like to. Regardless we have an amazing book full of truth, and full of people who all lived their extraordinary lives for Christ. It's pretty amazing! So instead of worrying how we look, we should be thinking about what the truths that each of these people followed are. We have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That's a given. His grace covers our sin, absolutely. But what am I doing to live a life worthy of his calling? What are you doing? Are you just doing the minimum amount you think will get you a decent sized crown in Heaven? Or are you truly living sold out and on fire for Him? I don't know about you, but I want to live with reckless abandon for Christ. I want to have no regard for the criticism I may get from being His alone. I know we hear all the time that we have the power to change the world... but when will we actually start believing it? Maybe this is a rant, maybe it's only a personal struggle of mine. But I don't want to just live good enough anymore. Jesus Christ dying on the cross wasn't just good enough. It was the ultimate sacrifice, so that we could live. Why would we not give our ultimate sacrifice back?
I'm starting to pull into the strength of Christ, and let these insecurities of sharing his love and truth go. It saddens me that I've let it plague me for this long. But I'm ready for the battles now, and I'm not backing down. I want to live each precious day on earth like it's the day Jesus is coming back. Unafraid of what people think of me, so long as Christ is always shining through. That's my hearts deepest desire. I can't wait to see the body of Christ rise up and stand boldly once again. Because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, our sacrifice for our Jesus will be worth it when we're all worshiping in eternity!
For this whole year I have been plagued with the thoughts of what it means to live righteously for Christ. There are so many types of Christians, that honestly it gets incredibly confusing. You have extremes on both ends of the spectrum. Those who live a very structured Christian life. Have you ever seen the show 19 Kids and Counting? That's the life I'm talking about. A great Christian family who lives a very strict life. People like that have always intrigued me. Probably because I'm so different from them. I think their dedication is truly amazing, but I've come to the conclusion that I could never live like that. I'm far too opinionated and loud. I also really like country music. I find myself admiring them, but then I start to feel bad about myself, and I know that's not from Christ. Then there's the other extreme form of Christianity, where everything goes. Grace is just a get out of jail free card. You can go get drunk every weekend, sleep around, curse, cheat, lie, etc. and God's grace is always there to catch you. I'll be honest, it's hard for me not to judge that lifestyle. I DO believe God's grace is there, but then I also believe that he has called us to live a life worthy of His calling. So then I start to feel superior. And then there's me. I seem to be somewhere smack dab in the middle of all of this, trying to figure out which is "The best Christian way to live." And the funny thing about time, the funny thing about life, is that we're constantly growing, changing, and learning. What I thought about Jesus and my faith 5 years ago, has changed so drastically, even though he remains the same. But I think that's the problem. We as Christians get SO caught up in trying to figure out the best way to present our Christian life to the world, that we forget to really live it. Believe me, I'm right there with you. I worry about how people will view certain things, instead of truly just living them out. Is that not silly? There's a possibility that I am the only one who is this way...but somehow I doubt it.
For the past few years, the week before Easter has been incredibly significant to me. Somehow it feels like Jesus is showing me more and more what his sacrifice actually meant. I went to my Church's Easter play last night, and it again struck me just HOW awesome my Jesus is. Sacrifice isn't just a pretty, fancy word we use to describe what Jesus did. It was an actual, real thing that we so easily forget. I'm often baffled by the fact that he not only came to earth and took on the form of man, died a horrendous painful death that he didn't deserve, battled Satan in hell so that YOU AND I can have eternal life....and we so often throw it back in his face. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about that. Thinking about the times that I've been more concerned about MY image, than his. And that's what it is, isn't it? We're concerned about how our Christian life will look because it effects US not HIM. And that's when I realized, that the example of how to live the best Christian life was found in the living, breathing, Word of God Himself. There are countless stories of men and women standing for Christ, and bringing his Kingdom to earth. And the coolest part of all of it, is that they were all SO different. It might be astounding, but I never really realized that before. We all have our favorite characters and stories in the Bible. Maybe it's because we resemble them in some way... or maybe it's because we'd like to. Regardless we have an amazing book full of truth, and full of people who all lived their extraordinary lives for Christ. It's pretty amazing! So instead of worrying how we look, we should be thinking about what the truths that each of these people followed are. We have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That's a given. His grace covers our sin, absolutely. But what am I doing to live a life worthy of his calling? What are you doing? Are you just doing the minimum amount you think will get you a decent sized crown in Heaven? Or are you truly living sold out and on fire for Him? I don't know about you, but I want to live with reckless abandon for Christ. I want to have no regard for the criticism I may get from being His alone. I know we hear all the time that we have the power to change the world... but when will we actually start believing it? Maybe this is a rant, maybe it's only a personal struggle of mine. But I don't want to just live good enough anymore. Jesus Christ dying on the cross wasn't just good enough. It was the ultimate sacrifice, so that we could live. Why would we not give our ultimate sacrifice back?
I'm starting to pull into the strength of Christ, and let these insecurities of sharing his love and truth go. It saddens me that I've let it plague me for this long. But I'm ready for the battles now, and I'm not backing down. I want to live each precious day on earth like it's the day Jesus is coming back. Unafraid of what people think of me, so long as Christ is always shining through. That's my hearts deepest desire. I can't wait to see the body of Christ rise up and stand boldly once again. Because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, our sacrifice for our Jesus will be worth it when we're all worshiping in eternity!
Friday, December 13, 2013
Confessions of a 22 year old virgin
Okay, so I know the title of this post may come across as a bit shocking. To be honest, I've debated whether to write on this subject for a REALLY long time. For some reason, it seems like it's "taboo" to be a young woman in the church today, and discuss the very real world of purity, chastity, and premarital sex. Let me take that back, purity and chastity are encouraged slightly, though not with any good reason, and unfortunately, once you reach an age that the world deems "too old to be a virgin," so many young people give in. Actually, people not only outside of the church, but an absurd amount within the church fall into the trap of premarital sex. Now, before I go any further, I just want to assure anyone reading this that I don't condemn you nor do I condone anything that has transpired in your past... Or really, for anything in your present and future. To be fair, my job is not to be a judge, it's to love and point people to Christ through the example he gave me in his word. That's truth whether I agree with you or not, and whether you agree with me or not. So with that being said, let's move forward.
I wanted to write this post for many reasons. First of which, is that I didn't realize how rare it was for a woman (or man) my age to still be a virgin at 22 years old, by choice. Growing up in Christian School maybe blinded me to a lot of the realities, but when I entered the real world it quickly became apparent that I was the exception. I remember other students in my college courses teasing me mercilessly for holding out until I am married to the man I KNOW God has for me. It all started one day when one of them asked what the ring on my left ring finger was. They knew I wasn't in a relationship, yet they knew that the ring was a permanent feature. I'd like to tell you that I answered boldly and confidently that I was waiting for my future husband, and I didn't care if they thought I was silly. Instead, I somehow lost my usual spitfire ways and half-heartedly explained. To this day I'm not sure why I answered the way I did. But regardless, it didn't stop them from making it one of their favorite topics to talk about. At first, it sort of infuriated me. The people I was in school with were mainly male, and I thought they were just being perverted about everything. But as time went on, I slowly began to realize that something I treasured and held so close to my heart, was something that was intriguing for people who chose to live differently than me. I realized that by me being a virgin, it meant so much more than just waiting for my husband and a beautiful marriage. It is an ability to show people how different a life with Christ can be. Let me explain a little. Growing up, I was taught like everyone else that sex was to be for marriage. It was honestly not even a thought of mine until I began high school and realized some pretty cool things. First, is that physical intimacy isn't meant to be selfish. I don't just mean with sex, I mean with any physical intimacy. I've always wondered why something as simple as holding hands can feel wrong, when it's a very sweet, pure expression of feeling. But that's just it, most of the time in the dating world, physical intimacy of any kind is used to please the person giving it, not the one receiving it. I think if we stopped and actually took physical intimacy for what it is- a way to express a deep feeling for someone, things like casual sex wouldn't even exist. I also realized that entering into physical intimacy with someone on a sexual level is the deepest you can ever be with someone physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I knew that I only wanted that with one person ever. My decision to wait was made pretty early on. I've always had high physical standards in relationships, and while there are things I could say I "regret" in relationships, really and truly, I thank The Lord for the things he showed me. Someday giving myself to my husband is going to be a true gift. ANYWAY, back from my rabbit trail, here we go. So I finally decided to write this post, because quite frankly, I am sick and tired of the over-sexualized world we live in today. Can I tell you how frustrating it is to go out with guy after guy, date after date, waiting for a man to be a strong leader and protector, someone who truly values your worth, not your body, and find out that even the "best" Christian guys still want to push your limits? Because well, it is. And I've experienced that guy more times than I can count. Out of the many guys I've dated, there's only been one ever that I truly felt ever respected me, and his future wife and my future husband in the relationship. That's probably why he ended up being my boyfriend. Even though I know the future doesn't hold us being together, I find myself longing for that again. So many times people ask my why I don't just " get it over with." They say I'll realize it's " not that big of a deal," and that it's just a fun, physical part of a relationship. And that to me, is completely cringe worthy. That in and of itself is a huge problem in society today. I'm just going to go ahead and throw it out there and say that I believe 100% of people who are having sex outside of marriage, or sex just for fun are missing out on the most amazing gift they could ever had. Yep, I said it. Argue with me, say I don't know what I'm talking about because I haven't experienced it. You're right, sex, I've never experienced, but Jesus, I absolutely have. I believe that when things are done the way Christ has created them to be done, the most amazing blessings can happen. Now, don't get me wrong, I think that every single person, every single couple can have that amazing gift. God isn't a God of grace and redemption and restoration for no reason! I'm just saying that if we actually started treating one another, and the relationships we've been given with true love and respect, we could all have an amazing love story. Because true love is sacrifice, not selfishness. Most of you reading my blog know that I volunteer with the youth at my church. I absolutely love it. There are times I get discouraged in this journey of waiting for my Man of God. I wonder if all the talk around me is actually truth, and I grow weary. But then I talk to one of the teenage girls in my life... I can't tell you how many have told me that they look up to me so much because I try my best to live my life for The Lord. And let's face it, whether we like it or not, most of those girls come to me with boy stuff. I had one of the girls I mentor tell me a few weeks ago, " You know, the stories of women who have messed up with guys and then have that part of their life restored are really cool, don't get me wrong...but it's so encouraging to see you holding out for that. It makes me realize I can do it too." Okay, if I had no other reason for waiting, that statement would be my reason. I try not to let that part of who I am define me, but the older I get, the more I realize what a gift it is to the world! I look around at our society and my heart breaks. The world is in a rat race trying to find love. People sing about it, talk about it, write about it, think about it constantly. We all know the typical Christian answer is that God is the only one that can fill that void for love we feel. I agree! But what about this idea; maybe we all long for love and companionship so much because Christ CREATED us that way? Crazy thought, right? But I'll be honest, the relationships and marriages I admire and want to emulate most are the ones where Christ is the absolute center of all of it. He's the all consuming of the two individuals, that when it comes to their relationship, he stitches up the things that fairytales are made of. I see these couples endure life's hardest tragedies, yet still find deep love in the middle. I watch them rejoice together in the happy times and my heart rejoices right with them. I long for that kind of love someday, and I know that IT IS THE KIND OF LOVE CHRIST INTENDED US TO HAVE! How unbelievable is that? He simply asks us to follow his path to get that kind of love. So simple, yet so many give up before they even start because settling for a cheap imitation is easier.
Again, I know this is a controversial topic... to be honest, I wasn't quite sure I was going to post this after I wrote it. But then I realized why not? Why not be an encouragement? I don't know how it'll be received or what people will say, but quite frankly I wish someone would've shared the things I've learned with me when I was younger. If this post has offended you, I'm sorry. It isn't ever my intention to be brazen or loose lipped. But I just really felt like it needed to be said. So with that, I just want to close by saying if you've messed up, then run to the cross. Jesus IS the true redeemer and restorer and I PROMISE he can and will restore any broken part of your life. And if you're the position I'm in, stay strong. And for all of us, keep praying and waiting patiently for the Man or Woman God has created for you. They ARE out there. Remember the true gift that loving another person is. Honor them, respect them even now because it'll be worth it in the end.
I wanted to write this post for many reasons. First of which, is that I didn't realize how rare it was for a woman (or man) my age to still be a virgin at 22 years old, by choice. Growing up in Christian School maybe blinded me to a lot of the realities, but when I entered the real world it quickly became apparent that I was the exception. I remember other students in my college courses teasing me mercilessly for holding out until I am married to the man I KNOW God has for me. It all started one day when one of them asked what the ring on my left ring finger was. They knew I wasn't in a relationship, yet they knew that the ring was a permanent feature. I'd like to tell you that I answered boldly and confidently that I was waiting for my future husband, and I didn't care if they thought I was silly. Instead, I somehow lost my usual spitfire ways and half-heartedly explained. To this day I'm not sure why I answered the way I did. But regardless, it didn't stop them from making it one of their favorite topics to talk about. At first, it sort of infuriated me. The people I was in school with were mainly male, and I thought they were just being perverted about everything. But as time went on, I slowly began to realize that something I treasured and held so close to my heart, was something that was intriguing for people who chose to live differently than me. I realized that by me being a virgin, it meant so much more than just waiting for my husband and a beautiful marriage. It is an ability to show people how different a life with Christ can be. Let me explain a little. Growing up, I was taught like everyone else that sex was to be for marriage. It was honestly not even a thought of mine until I began high school and realized some pretty cool things. First, is that physical intimacy isn't meant to be selfish. I don't just mean with sex, I mean with any physical intimacy. I've always wondered why something as simple as holding hands can feel wrong, when it's a very sweet, pure expression of feeling. But that's just it, most of the time in the dating world, physical intimacy of any kind is used to please the person giving it, not the one receiving it. I think if we stopped and actually took physical intimacy for what it is- a way to express a deep feeling for someone, things like casual sex wouldn't even exist. I also realized that entering into physical intimacy with someone on a sexual level is the deepest you can ever be with someone physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I knew that I only wanted that with one person ever. My decision to wait was made pretty early on. I've always had high physical standards in relationships, and while there are things I could say I "regret" in relationships, really and truly, I thank The Lord for the things he showed me. Someday giving myself to my husband is going to be a true gift. ANYWAY, back from my rabbit trail, here we go. So I finally decided to write this post, because quite frankly, I am sick and tired of the over-sexualized world we live in today. Can I tell you how frustrating it is to go out with guy after guy, date after date, waiting for a man to be a strong leader and protector, someone who truly values your worth, not your body, and find out that even the "best" Christian guys still want to push your limits? Because well, it is. And I've experienced that guy more times than I can count. Out of the many guys I've dated, there's only been one ever that I truly felt ever respected me, and his future wife and my future husband in the relationship. That's probably why he ended up being my boyfriend. Even though I know the future doesn't hold us being together, I find myself longing for that again. So many times people ask my why I don't just " get it over with." They say I'll realize it's " not that big of a deal," and that it's just a fun, physical part of a relationship. And that to me, is completely cringe worthy. That in and of itself is a huge problem in society today. I'm just going to go ahead and throw it out there and say that I believe 100% of people who are having sex outside of marriage, or sex just for fun are missing out on the most amazing gift they could ever had. Yep, I said it. Argue with me, say I don't know what I'm talking about because I haven't experienced it. You're right, sex, I've never experienced, but Jesus, I absolutely have. I believe that when things are done the way Christ has created them to be done, the most amazing blessings can happen. Now, don't get me wrong, I think that every single person, every single couple can have that amazing gift. God isn't a God of grace and redemption and restoration for no reason! I'm just saying that if we actually started treating one another, and the relationships we've been given with true love and respect, we could all have an amazing love story. Because true love is sacrifice, not selfishness. Most of you reading my blog know that I volunteer with the youth at my church. I absolutely love it. There are times I get discouraged in this journey of waiting for my Man of God. I wonder if all the talk around me is actually truth, and I grow weary. But then I talk to one of the teenage girls in my life... I can't tell you how many have told me that they look up to me so much because I try my best to live my life for The Lord. And let's face it, whether we like it or not, most of those girls come to me with boy stuff. I had one of the girls I mentor tell me a few weeks ago, " You know, the stories of women who have messed up with guys and then have that part of their life restored are really cool, don't get me wrong...but it's so encouraging to see you holding out for that. It makes me realize I can do it too." Okay, if I had no other reason for waiting, that statement would be my reason. I try not to let that part of who I am define me, but the older I get, the more I realize what a gift it is to the world! I look around at our society and my heart breaks. The world is in a rat race trying to find love. People sing about it, talk about it, write about it, think about it constantly. We all know the typical Christian answer is that God is the only one that can fill that void for love we feel. I agree! But what about this idea; maybe we all long for love and companionship so much because Christ CREATED us that way? Crazy thought, right? But I'll be honest, the relationships and marriages I admire and want to emulate most are the ones where Christ is the absolute center of all of it. He's the all consuming of the two individuals, that when it comes to their relationship, he stitches up the things that fairytales are made of. I see these couples endure life's hardest tragedies, yet still find deep love in the middle. I watch them rejoice together in the happy times and my heart rejoices right with them. I long for that kind of love someday, and I know that IT IS THE KIND OF LOVE CHRIST INTENDED US TO HAVE! How unbelievable is that? He simply asks us to follow his path to get that kind of love. So simple, yet so many give up before they even start because settling for a cheap imitation is easier.
Again, I know this is a controversial topic... to be honest, I wasn't quite sure I was going to post this after I wrote it. But then I realized why not? Why not be an encouragement? I don't know how it'll be received or what people will say, but quite frankly I wish someone would've shared the things I've learned with me when I was younger. If this post has offended you, I'm sorry. It isn't ever my intention to be brazen or loose lipped. But I just really felt like it needed to be said. So with that, I just want to close by saying if you've messed up, then run to the cross. Jesus IS the true redeemer and restorer and I PROMISE he can and will restore any broken part of your life. And if you're the position I'm in, stay strong. And for all of us, keep praying and waiting patiently for the Man or Woman God has created for you. They ARE out there. Remember the true gift that loving another person is. Honor them, respect them even now because it'll be worth it in the end.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Christmas
I simply love the Holidays. It's odd, when I was a child my love for them was tremendous, but very different than it is now. And somewhere between childhood and adulthood, I forgot what it meant to appreciate Christmas. What it meant to love Christmas. And not just Christmas as the world sees it, but what it's really about. It's so interesting to me that it doesn't matter who you are, most people believe in the "magic" of Christmas. People are a little nicer, and the compassionate part of human nature tends to show it's face more. I've always loved this. I love seeing the tender part of humanity that I often think has died. But this holiday season I was hit with something I had never realized. The "magic" of Christmas is, I believe God making himself known. Let me explain what I mean. See, I somehow believe that through our own "Holiday Spirit" Christ is showing more of his love in hopes that people finally realize that Jesus TRULY is the reason for this time we all love. I look around at the Christmas miracles that happen, the stories of hope and redemption and grace. How could we NOT associate it with Christ? This Thanksgiving, I got to experience hope, redemption, and grace in a way that I never had before. It made my heart swell with gratitude and joy. I somehow knew that everything that was happen was FAR bigger than myself, or even the other people involved. It was sort of ironic that it was happening during this season. But I love how God works that way, sometimes he has to take something so fairytale like, and make it so literal so that we actually stop and realize that he is goodness itself. Now, don't get me wrong, he obviously works in wondrous ways all throughout the year, but there's something special about this time of year. If we stop to look close enough, we can literally see Jesus in every part. I love the feeling I get watching new snow fall, covering everything with it's beauty. What a great metaphor for ourselves. The pureness and softness of new fallen snow is like the love of our Savior covering us. The awe of children experiencing Christmas is the awe Mary and Joseph must have felt holding their new born son. Just like every new parent. But even MORE enthralling because he was the one who came down to save humanity. The unselfishness of gift giving, how we should strive to live each and every day. Maybe I am grasping for straws here, but I don't think so. Christmas, like every other time in life can be unbelievable if we just take the time to stop and see the beauty that surrounds us. The truth that can always be found in the midst of chaos. This Christmas season, I'm not just thankful for the birth of Christ, I'm thankful that I actually get to stop and remember what that truly means, and I hope that you do too. Merry Christmas!
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