Trust

I never get over how life is constantly teaching me new things. Rather, I can never get over how Jesus Christ teaches me new things through this life. Over the past few weeks, i've been faced with thoughts and ideas that all string together. This has made me come to a conclusion, that is really a beginning to the unveiling of a new truth. I don't think I could ever reach the full conclusion, nor would I ever want to. The mystery of life, love, and ultimately salvation, would be immensely disatisfying if we had all the answers. Yet I always find myself longing to have the answers anyway. I am so terrified that if I choose one thing, I could mess up everything else in my life. I hate living in that kind of fear. And deep down I know that I have nothing to fear because it was overcome by my Savior. And while I try to analyzie and figure out every possible obstacle in my life (whether I had no choice in it, or I created the obstacle myself), I still come to the conclusion that I would choose mystery over knowledge. That's the most exciting thing about serving Jesus, is that you never know what will happen next.

Sometimes I feel as though I get overly concerned about the timing of things in my life. It's like i've formed this giant time table of when things shold happeen, or when i'll reach a certain goal in discovering something about myself. Gosh, if my time table was right even once, I think life may be a little boring! But it always seems so hard to truly live in each moment. I tend to imagine what the future might be like, not stopping to remember that today is the future i'd always dreamed about.

Worry does nothing but create chaos. Whether it be in your heart, mind, or on the outside. I've not seen a single situation where worry benefits anybody. Belive me, I would know. Because I over-analyze absolutely everything, I find myself worrying about scenarios that don't actually exist. Just the "what if's." It drives me absolutely insane! And while I learn and grow from each of my freak outs, i've realized something so much bigger. Every time I worry, or stress over something, it gives me the opportunity to trust God a little bit more. I may not always understand, in fact, most of the time I don't. But if I start puting my hope in the Lord everytime i'm tempted to worry, not only will that fear subside, but I will grow deeper in my trust for my Savior. And isn't that what I should want? I've found that all the worry and the stress of the world will never go away. We wouldn't live on earth if that were the case. But I am truly starting to realize that it's who we look to in the stress that determines the outcome. Everyday people give us advice, their opionions, and thoughts on what they think is going to happen in your life. All of that added on to what you think creates tidal waves of craziness. But when I look to the Lord, everything else seems insignificant. I realize that he is the only thing that is ever constant. So yeah, I have decesions to make, and it's my job to be wise in the choices I make...but at the end of it all, if I am serving the One true God, my life will be beautiful. It might not ever seem like it to me, but he has promised it. Romans 8:28