My life has been so busy lately. There has been so much that sometimes I forget to just step back and breathe. It's so hard to remember that really, I have nothing to worry about because deep down I KNOW who holds my life, my future, and my day to day. But there's something that's been on my mind these past crazy months. Something that if I begin to think too much about both terrifies and excites me.
I feel as though there is a giant fan of choices displayed in front of me, and I have to choice to pick a part of that fan and run with it. All these beginning scenarios are presented before me, and I can see the starts of amazing adventures. But that's just it, it's the beginning. No middle, no end guaranteed. Each option seems chalk full of surprises. Of course, I know there will be hard times with any option I choose, but me being me, I can't help but try to figure out what each option will produce. I find myself so afraid of making the wrong choice that I begin to panic. Because I truly believe that at any moment, any choice I make can be life-changing. It's crazy to think that if I chose one thing differently, I wouldn't be where I am today. Wow. But the thing that is providing so much peace, is stopping and remembering that I do not hold my future. Someone so much greater does.
I am also beginning to recognize that I have so much to work on. No matter what path I choose, there are things that are vital for me to have to be successful in life. I recognize the fact that I have to grow in confidence and security of who I am. This may seem easy, but oh believe me, it isn't. There are parts of me that I know for sure, and parts yet to be discovered. I suppose we're always growing and changing, but I hope that at some point, I can be confident in my thoughts and ideas. I want to not be afraid of standing up for them, and not afraid of offending someone. I want to be able to live differently with confidence, not cowardice. I want to be confident in knowing that no matter what, my security is in my Savior, not in my circumstance. It could be wishful thinking, but I don't think it's impossible. Obviously I won't feel that every moment of every day, but I do hope that I can reach a point of security in knowing who I belong to, and knowing that it's enough.
So back to my fan of options. I've realized that it doesn't really matter which piece of the fan I choose. Yes, there are incredible adventures i'll miss. But that is only because i'll be experiencing other ones. If the life of Kimberly Weathers was stuck in stone, it would be terribly boring. Though the unknown kind of freaks me out, I am excited for it. I'm excited to pick different things and see the result. And the bottom line is this, wherever I am tomorrow or ten years from now, my life will be defined and centered on one thing. My Savior. And I think that's enough. I think instead of worrying about WHAT will happen, I need to remember WHO is with me when it's happening. Because of that, no matter where I am, my life will be where it's supposed to be. I firmly believe that if your heart is seeking the Lord, you will be on his right path for your life. It doesn't mean there won't be bumps and bruises, but it does mean that God will use you wherever you are if you're willing. Whew. That's a relief!
I find it so funny how I usually write things that millions of people have discovered before me. But hey, i'm glad that I finally get what everyone talks about. Hopefully you reach these wonderful places too.
No comments:
Post a Comment